Good Submissive...

[Mistress Whip Atlanta]

What makes a good submissive? What qualities do good submissives bring to the table?
Mswhip

[gapeach]

hmmm.. interesting question!

i guess i could say that a good submissive is deemed that way by their Top/Dom/me - that'd be one answer...

i also say that a good submissive is based on a sub's own 'standards/rules/requirements/needs/etc'...

wow, this is a broad one!! lol... it could mean anything from obedience, temperament, personality, response... but... i resort back to my previous 2 answers!

(didn't mean to be so vague, but it truly is one that is based on each individual)

[xanny]

In general, I'd have to agree with gapeach in that sub can be a good sub on many levels, but at the same time if you're in a situation like I am (unowned / uncollared / single), then there's still the question of how to be a good sub.

This is something that I have been trying to figure out myself to apply to my own kinky life. Last month's ARM, Stormy presented a great set of ideas and thoughts about how to be a single submissive. I think respect and courtesy go a long way, and are definitely traits of a good sub.

[Avaly]

I agree with Xanny--respect and courtesy go a long way, indeed! I would also add that to be a good sub, one has to have the desire to submit to another person (seems obvious, but if you've never had any desire to relinquish control, you're not going to be a good sub), and the desire to please one's dom or domme.
~Avaly

[Stormweaver]

It depends on what all would be occurring for the submissive. I mean, one most likely cannot be good based on a desire to submit alone. One should be willing to do anything (within the agreed bounds of one's limits). For example, one who desires to submit to another and wishes to be good at it, must have and show respect, the little things meaning as much as the big ones. I remember seeing this lifestyle couple a couple years ago... She always walked behind him and just to his right, even while they talked, it was up to her to stay in spot yet be able to hear and speak without her Dom having to adjust himself during their walk. When they approached a door, she moved just ahead to open and hold the door with her head lowered while he walked through, then quickly fell back into position. It was little things, holding the door, when to lower one's head and when not to, where to walk, move, how to conduct one's self, but to myself an onlooker, I would have rated her a wonderful sub on these things alone, without even seeing a scene between them. If these public displays were any sign of her style behind doors... I could only imagine that both are very very happy with their lifestyle. Submission is without a doubt a give and take, and there are so many would be subs who's interests are purely on the "take" side of that. A Domme / Dom would be hard pushed to have the energy to want to lead such a life or scene, if the sub doesn't eagerly put back into the pool of energy that builds and fuels the scene. Hope these thoughts make sense.

Dragon / Stormweaver / Tempest