What's your safe word?

[Mistress Whip Atlanta]

What does a safe word mean to you? I recently had the pleasure of one using the words Ice Cream and Chocolate as their safe words, cute and they worked quite well!

What is your safe word? How do you know when to use a safe word? Would you ever play with out a safe word?

MsWhip:D

[gapeach]

typically, i'll use the standard yellow (slow down or change it up) or red (stop that particular activity, or i'm done) as Most seem used to that.... i got caught in a situation once, where i thought my Top was kinda messin w/me, while on the bench, and uttered the pre-designated word, which was none of the above.... and... since it wasn't my Top messin w/me, the word was not recognized...sooo.. better safe than sorry, and now stick with the traffic lights!!

*peachie*

[dare711]

We use only one phrase: "LORD GOD JESUS!" which would signal Him that I "need a second to regroup & process". Of course, this would be said with...enthusiasm and emphasis! LOL

[MzDeanna]

When I bottom, my safeword is "Volkswagen". I chose it many years ago, and it stuck. My reasoning was that it's a word that will never, ever spontaneously occur during a hot scene and/or sex. Yell out "Volkswagen!" in the middle of anything, and believe me, people will pause and say, "Huh?"
:D
MzDeanna

[Mistress Whip Atlanta]

When I bottom, my safeword is "Volkswagen". I chose it many years ago, and it stuck. My reasoning was that it's a word that will never, ever spontaneously occur during a hot scene and/or sex. Yell out "Volkswagen!" in the middle of anything, and believe me, people will pause and say, "Huh?"
:D
MzDeanna
These are cute and unusual, I had a feeling we would get some interesting safe words here!
MsWhip

[byherpermission]

While not very original, its easy to remember. Our safe word is "safe word"

[NextGuard]

Being simple, myself, I prefer just "red." Hard to forget, easy to recognize. I've used more complicated systems but 99% of the time, I just need to know something is wrong.

I remember that Master Doug liked to use the bottom's first name - something he could never forget but would not normally yell out.

Lady D always made a lot of sense, advocating "red" in public play so that others could recognize a scene gone wrong that didn't stop.

[SatinWhip]

We don't use a safe word but we have been playing together for a while.

[SmattMan]

Banana

KISS theory:

K - Keep
I - it
S - Simple
S - Stupid

[SirJscanX]

After initial session(s), I usually have my submissive/slaves gagged, and gagged quite tightly, while in play session. So, the concept of a spoken safeword becomes moot!

So for much of my play, the 'safeword' I have my submissive/slaves use is a system of "three" which might be most anything (depending upon what motion--if any!--might be available at the time): a tapping of fingers, clicking of heel on the floor, or even a sequence of three equally spaced hums through the nose is enough of a safeword. Something like this is particuarly needed when engaging in some of the most restrictive bondage, such as suspensions and mummification techniques. Naturally, I need to be paying attention for this, particularly when pushing near any established limits. Of course, when engaging in the more extreme restraints, a Top should be paying close attention anyway. This "three" signal also works well for demonstrations on stage, where such a silent signal minimizes the impact on the theatrical experience for the audience as well as for the performers.

-- Sir Jscan X

[Mistress Whip Atlanta]

After initial session(s), I usually have my submissive/slaves gagged, and gagged quite tightly, while in play session. So, the concept of a spoken safeword becomes moot!

So for much of my play, the 'safeword' I have my submissive/slaves use is a system of "three" which might be most anything (depending upon what motion--if any!--might be available at the time): a tapping of fingers, clicking of heel on the floor, or even a sequence of three equally spaced hums through the nose is enough of a safeword. Something like this is particuarly needed when engaging in some of the most restrictive bondage, such as suspensions and mummification techniques. Naturally, I need to be paying attention for this, particularly when pushing near any established limits. Of course, when engaging in the more extreme restraints, a Top should be paying close attention anyway. This "three" signal also works well for demonstrations on stage, where such a silent signal minimizes the impact on the theatrical experience for the audience as well as for the performers.

-- Sir Jscan X
Hi,
Thanks for the post!!! Although I am quite aware of non spoken safe words I didn't think of posting something here for those who are not familiar with this!!
Thanks for sharing!
MsWhip

[Mistress Whip Atlanta]

In looking over all of the safe word replies, they all apply and are a great indication of how what yours for you, works for you! If Banana or Volkswagen is your word and it works for you then excellent! Red and finger taps work well also! I think the main thing is that we have a safe word! For most people this works and is necessary. For some no safe word also works but seems to be less common! It's great to see everyone participation in the forum discussions!!
Have a great holiday everybody!
MsWhip

[yardman5508]

Orange...don't know why, just seems like something that one would not normally say in a scene.

[Mistress Whip Atlanta]

Orange...don't know why, just seems like something that one would not normally say in a scene.
Hi Yardman,
This is really funny that you use orange for your safe word!! I generally use Red, yellow and green, but sometimes they just yell out Orange! haha
I hope you can make it to this fridays CAP too!
MsWhip

[BrattyKitten]

After initial session(s), I usually have my submissive/slaves gagged, and gagged quite tightly, while in play session. So, the concept of a spoken safeword becomes moot!

We discovered while playing at 1763 this past weekend the necessity of a Gestured Safeword due to very loud music in the main room, even though we were not playing bound and gagged. I just couldn't have been heard clearly if there were an emergency.

[Mistress Whip Atlanta]

Hi Bratty were you at the Flesh and Fetish ball?
MsWhip



We discovered while playing at 1763 this past weekend the necessity of a Gestured Safeword due to very loud music in the main room, even though we were not playing bound and gagged. I just couldn't have been heard clearly if there were an emergency.

[BrattyKitten]

Hi Bratty were you at the Flesh and Fetish ball?
MsWhip
Yep, sure was.
I petted your dog. (the canis quadruped, that wasn't a euphemism for any dungeon play LOL)

[Umbral Echoes]

When playing with someone new, I use the standard "red" and "yellow." When in a noisy place, I prefer hand gestures -- an outstretched arm and clenched right fist is the equivalent of "yellow," and shooting open the fingers is "red." One of my first BDSM experiences, the sub chose her own safeword of "bubblegum."

One subconscious safe signal I have developed is a double-tap. I've done some Brazilian Jiu Jitsu training, and that is the "tapping out" signal. Once in a scene involving some wrestling and breath play, the bottom smacked at my thigh a few times, and without even realizing it I immediately released my hold on her. Then she looked at me and was like, "Why'd you stop?" lol

[male|obedience]

Very helpful advice Ms Whip and Umbral Echoes Sir.

The "yellow", "red", "fist", and "spread fingers" do seem so perfectly intuitive that even under great distress one would be able to naturally yell out or motion correctly without much thinking.

Having to remember some random odd words and repeating them while under distress to make the pain stop seems more like an interrogation scene. :p

[Mistress Whip Atlanta]

Very helpful advice Ms Whip and Umbral Echoes Sir.

The "yellow", "red", "fist", and "spread fingers" do seem so perfectly intuitive that even under great distress one would be able to naturally yell out or motion correctly without much thinking.

Having to remember some random odd words and repeating them while under distress to make the pain stop seems more like an interrogation scene. :p
Did someone mention interrogations? ohhhlala
MsWhip

[Umbral Echoes]

In a scene at the last Whippersnappers, a friend of mine was so far gone in a scene that he forgot the word "yellow." He just ended up saying, "okay," and his domme knew him well enough to know what he meant. :)

Which I suppose is a good point to make, too. Though it is the sub's responsibility to call yellow or red, a good top will also be able to read the signs, and will sometimes know before the sub does when things are getting to that point.

[babe]

i generally use the standard safe words of Red to stop and Yellow to slow down or proceed to something different. i also use hand signals when i am to heavy in head space to speak. Such as the index finger raised for yes i am ok and 2 fingers up for slow down or stop.

Being hearing impaired may be a challenge to the Dominant so i make sure in advance that W/we are clear on all these signals and He is to speak close to my ear when asking my state of being.

~ babe

[Mistress Whip Atlanta]

I have a saying which is the "Sub will tell you everything you need to know and alot of that is non verbal"! Pay attention to the person and you should know what is going on and when! Breathing changes, responses change, activity changes, pay attention to the person who is subbing! Now every now and then something sneaks up on you but in general people respond and you can read the responses! Does this mean I play with out safe words, no I give safe words, the are are in place! I just usually dont have to rely on them!
MsWhip

[gapeach]

i agree with MsWhip, in the 'reading' the sub... i also give lil hints during pre-play chit chat, like, watch my feet.. if i'm standing, they'll go to tippy toes.. or if i'm laying, i'll start drawing circles in the air with my toes.. or, i'll just start nodding my head when it's really good... or try and 'shift' my body to a different place when receiving impacts..

hmm.. wonder if Ffolks are taking note of all this? ;)


*peachie*

[wench]

My lord and I decided on "library" as our safeword. Being bookish, I've never forgotten it.

When hung up and gagged, a coin is placed in each fist. If one coin drops, it is 'slow'. If both drop, scene stops. Given the impact of paddle or flogger, keeping my fingers wrapped around them is easy.

[willingtoserve]

I like that. Never would have thought of it but it makes a lot of sense. I might adopt it myself.Still need a stop signal if gagged. Three grunts should work.

[humblegentleman]

I don't smoke, drink, do drugs, or eat pork, and everybody who knows me knows these about me.

One Lady and I decided to use these as safewords:
"Alcohol" meaning "time out" or "slow down" (yellow)
"Pork" meaning "stop" (red).

Because if I say one of these in a play scene, it is clear that something is wrong. Fortunately, I have never had to use either one.