Evaluating a Potential Sub

[Quovana]

Ok, obviously I'm a newbie or I wouldn't have to ask this question but here goes, how should you go about evaluating a potential submissive?

Thanks in advance for your help,
Q

[watersportman]

As a sub I would suggest that you understand what type of play you are into. If you like to inflict pain you need to find a sub that is into that type of play. Do you like to humiliate your sub then you need to find a sub that is into that type of play. Me I like watersports. Do you want an experienced sub or one, like you a numbie, that you two can grow into a relationship with. I would be glad to speak with you if you like. Just let me know.

[Quovana]

Thank you, I appreciate your response :) I know what kind of play I'm into, my confusion comes when the potential sub immediately begins asking my permission for stuff two seconds after I say hello. They should be evaluating me while I'm evaluating them, right? It's not a foregone conclusion that we're compatible even if we do share the same interests. So, I'm expecting a rather vanilla conversation and often times that's not what happens so I'm wondering if I'm going about this the wrong way. I get this from newbies and people who claim to have years of experience.

Anyhoo,
Q

[gapeach]

ok.. sorry for another subbie responding... lol, mods - delete if Ya need to!!

i am a firm believer in "the relationship comes first"...taking time to know Oothers as people first.. find out if the compatibility is there ... then go from there...

as for someone asking permission right off the bat like that, MHO is that it's kinda silly... now, showing respect by saying Sir is fine...

taking time to meet, mail, chat will give a good indication of what a person is really like...

give it time, if there's a mutual interest in the beginning - let the "true colors" come out!!!

*turns the programming here back to Dom's for Their input! :)

*peachie*

[Quovana]

:) I appreciate your input, having a sub's point of view is very helpful. Hopefully I will find a good match soon. Wish me luck.

Q

[watersportman]

I have three Female Doms. We always talked before we started play. I knew what she wanted from me and she knew what my limits were before we started. One lady got me into watersports. I didn't even think about that part of play. But when we talked about golden showers and enemas by this time I trusted her enough to go ahead with that play. Now, I know this may sound strange to you, but I enjoy this part of the play. It has been hard finding another Dom who is into this sort of play. You sound like a person that will grow into a good Dom. I do wish you the best. Your questions were well thought out. Don't quit asking questions. Thats how you learn.

[watersportman]

I meant to say I had three Female Doms not have. Sorry for the mistake
watersportman